November 17, 2004 - Motorcycle Skills
The course... "Simple, just follow the arrow, heh, heh, heh..."
Start
The Traffic Light Test
The First Narrow Street Test
The Second Narrow Street Test
The Narrow Bridge Test
The Wildlife Hazard Test
The Uneven Surface Test
Along with the paperwork was a map of the course. After a bit of confused discussion with the licensing official, Christian told me that I would have to memorize the course. Yeah, right. We both had a good laugh over that one. We watched a video that showed people driving around the course. After the video I had an hour and a half to walk the course and commit it to memory.
Christian took off to visit an organic tofu factory that he had done some sort of work-study / home-stay with last summer. I set out to memorize the course. The cruelest obstacle was "The Narrow Bridge Test." A raised, foot wide, 30 foot long balance beam. You were to ride the length of the beam without falling off. If you fell off; you failed, test over. Beyond that there was "The Slalom Test" and "The Narrow Street Test." Hit a cone? Test over. Too slow? Test over. Too fast? Test over.
As I was walking the course I was able to mime a few questions to the other victims, Japanese, who were out stumbling around with me. Their mimed answers helped to fill in some of the finer points of Japanese traffic laws, most notable was that almost all intersections are of the "yield but don't stop" variety. All told I must have walked about 6 miles in circles.
Christian returned at 12:50 and the bikes came out of the garage. There was a small Harley style Kawasaki that I presumed was for my test, 400cc and under, and a couple of Kawasaki tankers that I guessed were 1000cc bikes for the "large" bike skills test.
All of the Japanese victims disappeared into the building to watch another video and I, the lone Gaijin, was asked to suit up. Just like that? No warm up? Jesus.
They indicated that I was to mount one of the 1000cc tankers. What? I looked at Christian, he turned to the official and iterated that I was here for the "400cc" test. After a bit of discussion Christian told me that the tankers were the 400cc bikes. They looked like they weighed about 600 pounds. Oh Jesus.
Apparently I wouldn't be given any time to get used to the bike. Just fire it up and go. Ooooh, Jesus.
I got on the tanker and tried to rebuild my shattered confidence by mumbling positive affirmations to myself. Out on the track I made it through the first few turns and sets of obstacles before thinking "Holy shit! I'm doing it! I'm taking the test! Where do I turn next?" This thought totally shattered any calm I had possessed up until that moment. From that point on it was a struggle to keep my nerves from forcing an error.
I completed the course without hitting anything or falling over. After I got off the bike a man ran up to it and moved it back about 15 centimeters. He then looked at me with scorn and pointed to two upright posts. Sweeping his arm back and forth he communicated that I was supposed to park behind the posts.
"Well, that's a shitter." I thought. I wonder how many other little blunders had occurred. Perhaps I have another skills test in my future.
One of the officials walked us back to the center talking intently with Christian. He gathered that the official was saying that I needed to be careful because Japanese driving laws were stricter than the laws in other countries - a statement unsupported by all of the maniacal drivers I've seen terrorizing the streets. Perhaps the official was really saying "You have to be careful, the Japanese turn into maniacs when they get behind the wheel."
Although he wasn't sure, Christian thought that the conversation indicated that I had passed the skills test. We were to come back to the center in an hour. Christian had a plan for how to best spend our recess...
